Bluntly Me

Hi and assalamualaikum everyone! Its been so long since I left this blog alone and now I'm just going to talk about myself

(im just going to mix English and malay in here, i hope you dont mind)

For so many years, I thought that i am that kind of person yang boleh cover mulut. I mean like, someone yang boleh jaga perkataan yang tak menyinggung. But thennnnnnn, I dont know since when I become bluntly honest, but yea i just did.

It happens when I was 18 if im not mistaken, there was this one lady, she's fair skin and tall, but  a little bit chubby and she was checking the lipstick colour that suits her, and then she took the pink one. and swatched it on her skin. i was standing besides here, looking for lipstick too. and then she asked me "dik, do you think this colour suits me because i love this colour!''

I stare for awhile looking at the lipstick swatches and her lips and diam kejap.

My brain: It doesnt suits her, but be nice say it suits her
My heart: If you lying, you dying

2SECONDS LATER

My mouth: It doesnt suits you, the pink is too bright. You look weird

HSHSHSOAOSNCJEIW FOR FUCK SAKE MY MOUTH MAKWWEDDAORWO I DONT KNOW

she was taken aback and said "oohh yeke? ooo takpela, guess the colour is not for me, maybe i can find another colour" and all i can only do is smile awkwardly

I was too awkward to stand there so I left Watson. Ya anak anak it happened in watson.

Time keluar tu aku maki diri aku, I was like "kenapa mulut aku cakap centu? tapi betul la warna tu memang tak sesuai pun dengan dia but mesti dia rasa sedih, hmm omaigod"

then the second incident happened kat matrik. I kid you not, I swear I was embarrassing my friends and myself.

That time kitorang (farah,dayah,tiqa,kyra and aku) study kat hep, and then ada budak laki duduk meja sebelah, so we just cool and keep on studying( most of the time we're just gossiping) then one of the boys offered us biskut raya. He said that all the boys are already full and dont want the biskut raya anymore hence the offer.

the girls was quite. ALL SILENCE AND STARE. then one by one said "no thanks, we already full"

but me being the astagfirullahalazim friend with astagfirullahalazim mouth bluntly said

"Em sebenarnya nak tapi malu la"

THE GIRLS WERE GIVING ME DEATH STARES. I SWEAR TO GOD I SAW THE WHOLE EYES ON ME, THE EYES THAT SAID (FATIN KAU SUMPAH NAK KENA LEMPANG TUU MULUT KAU TAK BOLEH TUTUP KEE)

Pastu the boys were like "haaa amek la amek makanla sedapppp."
and they said thank you

then they whispered.

"Bodo fatin, kau malukan aku siot"
"Aku sumpah rasa nak lari je tadi time dia bukak mulut"
"Aku tak pernah rasa malu sebegitu"

i was like........sorry la kawan kawan. saya tak sengaja.

but then

"tapi sebenarnya memang aku nak pun, thanks atin sebab cakapkan"

I was like????????? i knew it.

The third one happened in this year. one of my classmate pegang attendance. then he supposed to give it to me, tapi dia malas nak gerak, so at first aku cam cakap dalam hati je lah "ya allah ringankanlah bontot manusia ni" cs on that time i was actually pms

and then he had handouts, then time dia panggil "weh" , dia hulur centu je. Aku cam kau kalau dekat hulur centu takpe tau ni sebab kau jauh, aku sumpah rasa nak hempuk kau

so aku kena lah bangun
and my astagfirullahalazim mouth
: aduh kau ni berat bontot lah, cubalah gerak sikit

and then dia terkejut. pastu dia cakap "eh sorry ah adumak merungut ah"

then the other classmate semua pandang kitorang and boys gelak2. sumpah malu gila time tu tapi nak buat camna........

aku takleh control mulut.......

sedihnya

random thoughts at this hour

- we be content when everything we need, we want fall into places. the moment we achieve our goals and targets, we are actually at our best version of discipline ourselves.

-friends. or i might address them as family. my substitute family. it is fun to be surrounded by them. laughter and sadness, be shared in all in one family. you won't be judged nor belittled in your family. those who done that might as well to be re-considered as family members. but maybe, that's the way they are. their characteristic. we can't simply change people and we will never do. people change,by themselves.

I want to be truly honest about myself

I have received a lot of suggestions from people around me about latest entry post. They asked me to insert entry of "Facts about me!". Truth is I don't really know what to say in the blog anymore as my life begins hectic with classes and tons of homeworks and a research I got to do.

Oh by the way! Happy chinese new year for the chinese and those who are celebrating this festival! May God grant you wellness and wealth along your journey. Have a blast on this special day! Or my chinese friend would wish "Happy cina new year ya everyone"

So here it is,

05 Facts about me! (Not that you care)


1. I love computers!
- I do love computers and I have always loved them. Back then, when I was around 3 or 4 years old, my parents bought me two game cd(s). The rayman and sonic adventure. So after they bought and try the game on, they got confused. My parents really don't know how to play the game. They got really blur and blank. So, me being me, a very straight person, I just clicked the up arrow keypad and it worked! Okay..... Since that day, I know how computer works. The coding!
- Yes the coding is my favourite part! When I was young, I tried to have a very girly template for my previous blog. (Not this blog) and the old template required you to enter some coding, some simple coding and I was a newbie on that time so it took me just two hours to learn the coding stuff. Well honestly I never thought I could do that easily. But it is to me. Till now, the subject science computer, the practical is that we need to do some basic coding and ya know? I did it less than an hour. WEEEEEEE FEELING SO HAPPY

2. If there's a will, there's a way person
- I am really that person who will study whenever I wanted to. Okay, the situation is like this. The first semester of my matricullation days, I don't really feel like studying for my future. I was super lazy. I'm like the laziest student in my class. I also received the second lowest marks for my pspm. VERY BAD RIGHT?!!! IKR But yeah that's me.
- But now, studying is like my new bestfriend. I always meet her anytime! LIKE LITERALLY ANYTIME. AFTER CLASSES, AT 4AM, LATE NIGHT BEFORE I SLEEP AND YES. MY WORLD NOW REVOLVE AROUND HER! So, fiqnally I assume that myself is a "if there's a will, there's a way" person. Although my roomates sometimes really distracting me and belittle me for studying, but nah, I don't really care about their words. I'll stick to my mindset and let it guide me.

3. Family-oriented person
- If a man I love, bitching about my family, damn boy , tomorrow you see no sun because I already kill you boi.
- All the decisions I've made, I made it with the consideration of my family. Even when it comes to hanging out with friends, sometimes I just love to cancel it out just because I wanted to spend more time with my family. See, i love my papa more than u boi
- bonus: if they said you're not good enuff for me, probably i will listen to them boi. So goodluck!

4. A DPR FAN!!!! DPR WE GANG GANG!
- I AM DPR BIGGEST FAN! NO, JOKING! IM THE SMALLEST FAN! Christiannnn YUUUUU!!!!! *LOVE LOVE*
- I've always wanted to go and watch them performing but then my anxiety came and we had discussions about it.

Anxiety: I dont think you can see them. Bet your face will smacked with those asses.
Me : yeah right, but well, what are high heels for if not for these situations? I mean, they don't innovate this stuff for nothing.
Anxiety: HELL YEAH YOU WANT TO WEAR HEELS TO CONCERT?! SERIOUSLY BRUH!
Me: yeah you're right. I'm not going

-see? Poor me


5. I like older man
- PFFFTTTT HAHAHAHHAHA. I'm not a pervert. But yeah, somehow I feel like I suits older man more than guys my age. I feel like they don't really understand women, and that they are still childish.
- I'd prefer older guy up to 10years older than me, otherwise, I think that they're too old for me. And I am too young for them.


YUP. THAT'S IT FOR NOW. I LOVE YA GUYS
❤️